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Someone In My Life But Who ? :D

Dear Life How I miss you old friend. You are faithful to be here for me whether I want you, or not. Since death visited, it seems as if I lost all desire for you. There doesn’t seem a reason to feel joyful or content. I am blinded by my pain, and can not see beyond that right now. Life, you had once given me an abundance that I was not deserving of. But in this quiet time of death, oh how I struggle to remain with you. There are even moments that I pray you would give up on me. Where there was love and happiness, why does it seem like anger took root? I use to have such hope in you, but now that is clouded with despair. I have brief glimpses of my old you, and in those moments I want you back. But then the fog rolls in, when I remember what once was, and is not any more. Life, I know you are still here for me, even waiting for me patiently. I can hear you beckoning me to come back to you, and I want to answer your call. Remind me through your beauty of this world that there is so much left to see and do. I want so desperately to taste your goodness and fullness once again. I know you are teaching me a great lesson on humility. It is through my broken heart that I am now able to see another’s pain. I was so ridged, and am learning that I must bend or else I will break. I thought I was invincible, but now I see just how fragile you have made me. I thank you for showing me that you do not measure our days by years, hours or minutes, but in our breaths and heartbeats. Like a mangled body trying to walk again, I struggle to move on. I try to place one foot in front of the other with great difficulty and stubbornness. Before large strides were taken carelessly, now I am struggling to look ahead. With each step forward, I pray it will be a step farther away from the pain I am enduring. But I will take that step. I have to take that step. And I will celebrate victory in that moment as it is a new milestone.

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